Dear Jenny,

I really don't know how to start this letter for you, my face is flooded in tears and will be till the end of this writing. When we got Golly 16.1.2003 and we took him to our home I actually was afraid of him. I never had a dog in my life and didn't know how to treat him and be with him. I slowly realised that he was like a little baby and lost my fear of him. I started to love him more and more every day and we deeply bonded to each other when I was sick for a year and he always was there for me. Golly, my little boy, was an adorable, gentle, happy, caring, lovable, playful, devoted, protective,… boy whom we loved so much and miss every day so terribly. He couldn`t control his excitement or hide his feelings for Anthony and me but that was what made him so lovable. Golly had different relationship with Anthony, they were best friends and with me I was his mummy who let him to do what he wanted because when he gazed into my eyes, he always melted my heart. I never knew that a dog can take such a huge part of my life and heart.

Golly’s days normally started sitting next to my bedside or Anthony’s wanting to go for his walk (walky, walky or weewee). Even I was tired I always got up for him as I felt guilty to stay longer in bed when my boy needed to go out. He loved being in car. He always was so proud to sit next to me and had to see everything what was going on. When he got tired, he just lied down next to me and was peacefully sleeping with his paw in my hand and I just slowly stroked him while I drove my car. He loved to be off the lead when we took him for walk. As soon as I let him from the car that was it. He run away to say hello to other people and dogs. He was always showing off in front of us and messing around and showing he was the big boy. If I called any other dog darling, or stroke them he got jealous of them and was gently fighting with them. He never bit any other dog even he was bitten so many times. Sometimes he didn't want to come back to me because he knew I would put him back on his lead and he started to have his mad moment like running big circle after circle after circle around him till he got so tired that he could hardly walk back to my car. It was so funny. He made me a laugh. As long as he had his long walk I knew he was happy, relief and tired. I loved him so much that I sorted out his passport that he could go with us on holiday in car. I was supposed to pick up his passport same time when he got ill. He had even his pet first aid box and RAC travel box for water and food. Anthony always said I’m mad and spoiling Golly.

When we got home he normally first went to look for Anthony and if he wasn't in Golly went on his bed. He loved his bed. I made it for him as comfortable as I could. His favourite place at home was balcony. He was like little child excited about anything he could see or move. Our balcony faces to river and he got mad about ducks swimming there. Every time Anthony or I went out he went straight on balcony because he knew he could see us there to go or coming back. When was sunny day he loved lying there and sunbathing, I was always worried that he could get too hot and was regularly checking him and made sure that his bottle of water with his name Golly’s water was ready in fridge. He loved it and he loved his food too. He had a great appetite. Whatever he loved he knew he would get it again. As soon as I opened his special box with his treats no matter if he slept or was in other rooms he ran straight to me and happily waiting for his treat and always taking it on his bed where he enjoyed it. When I cooked I always had someone sitting next to me, waiting if there is something for him and he knew that his mummy always would give him something what he loved.

There was something about new toys when I got for him. He always played with it all day and as soon as Anthony came back from work Golly had to bring him and show him his new toy, wanting to play with him. He had his little box, full of toys, he played with one or all of them. He kept taking all of them out of box and then running around choosing which one to play with. It was really funny to look at. He was the happiest boy when he had both of us in. When one of us wasn't in, he always sat or lied behind main doors or balcony and waited. As soon as he could hear somebody is coming he went mental.

He was very clever too. I loved playing with him on our bed. Anthony didn't like it so we were just doing it when he wasn't in. We had a good laugh together jumping and playing or I was hiding under duvet and he couldn't find me. I tried to do it with him when Anthony was in but he would never do it because he knew Anthony wouldn't allow him. Clever little boy.

Golly was very patient but Anthony sometimes was starring at him or laughing different way what Golly hated then these two started to fight and play. It was really funny.

He was so special that I was allowed to take him to my work that he could see my elderly patients. My colleagues called Golly ,,my next of kin,, because I treated him like my little child. I always told them when they asked me why I’m so mad about him that Golly gives me unconditional love and devotion and he was always happy to see me no matter what that I cannot say about people. And if I would have a big house I would get for him at least one or two other friends and Shar Pei again.

When Golly got more ill and I took him to vet on Friday I knew there was a little chance but I still prayed for a miracle that my little boy would be fine. When vet phoned me and told me about Golly’s condition I broke down and cried and cried. I picked him up and even he was so unwell he run straight to me and I could see on his eyes how happy he was to see me. Next three days we were with him 24 hours a day. It was strange he slept most of the time on my side but these days he wanted to be on Anthony’s side so I took a sleeping bag and on side he had Anthony and on other side me sleeping on carpet with him and making sure that he was all right. We wanted him to feel how much we loved him and at the same time we cried and couldn't understand why our little boy have to go when 4 weeks ago he was still so happy and strong. On Saturday he ate, he drank , wanted our attention but we knew it was just thanks the steroids and hoped for miracle. On Sunday was the worst day for him and we knew we had to let him go. And still my brave little boy when Anthony got back home from work he stood up and went to greet to the doors. On Monday Golly went to balcony doors and looked at us like he wanted to go to his favourite place for the last time. He sat there and I covered him in one of his blanket and inside just cried and cried because I knew that it was his last time there. I still don't understand why such a little precious boy had to go? Why him? He was still just baby and he should be still here with us and be happy and have loads and loads love from us. We keep asking these questions every day, some moments I just broke in tears and want my baby back but I know it won’t happen. His mum Annie would be proud of him. He was the best boy.

Love
Bo

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